As if it were a vision, a reality we both stood strong. Longing for the moments of the world we created. As the details that abdicated the words that our world came crumbling down. There’s silence as the echoes fade and the acrimony subsides for a silent absolution is heard. Our love that lies within us as our world slowly and silently collides.
So, here is another one of those blogs. Another one of those journals of people who just want to showcase their life or whatever it may be. YES, I am joining the band wagon. Why? I woke up this morning wanting more, wanting something and I wanted to write. I wanted to understand myself in a perspective that I only know and have kept to myself. Writing… So, I am not Carrie Bradshaw though at times I feel as if I am. I am not married, no children, dating and looking for that fairy tale that deep down inside I am starting to lose hope it exists.. I shouldn’t have watched all those Disney movies growing up. I wake up knowing what I want, and not understanding why I haven’t gotten it. Living this perpetuating life I have created. So, what is it that I want? True Happiness, a happiness that only I can attain from within. No man, material item (Chanel), no one can make me happy but myself.. The famous words of “you can’t ever love someone till you love yourself”. So, I like myself do I love myself well, I love facets of myself. Loving yourself in a narcissistic, confident, egoist way is the only way you can love yourself or someone else? Okay, I know its not like that but really? Looking for our purpose in life is our purpose? Settling for what we can get knowing there could be something better yet, too scared to explore the possibilities. Scared to be alone and too critical of what we see and feel. Comparing ones self to what society has made beauty, love and life. So, I’m joining the bandwagon and sharing what I feel to the world and hoping that there are many woman in the same shoes I am in. Questioning everything, waiting and wanting and knowing one day I will be completely happy…“To be alive──is Power.” – Emily Dickinson