We are all born into a dynamic twist of fate plunged into a life filled with individuals that we deem our family. Families suffer strife with different stories within each individuals path yet, those paths intertwine with the love is where it all began. Blood is thicker than water when we need those in times of need. The connections run deep no matter how far or near we all reside and in those moments we know regardless of the silence or time they will always be. Those who have succumbed to another state of living we still feel the memories as if they have never left this world. A world we all create with those who we love and no matter the strife, family is family and once our branches brake another seed falls and another dynamic twist of faith begins.
“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn” – Ralph Waldo Emerson The Tree of Life by Gustav Klimt
Exactly how many times does it take for someone to get “Burned” before the realization that there is no more pain. The pain we internalize yet don’t project. Ruminating within our minds so in turn, we build walls, we create situations or circumstances from the ashes left from the flames that yet again we allowed for it to burn. Life is full of burns yet, we let those walls crumble in those moments of trust, love, and the idea that the flames don’t exist and the burns fade away. So, the walls fall, the water rushes in and all that’s left are glowing ambers that no longer burn because there is no more pain that ruminates. The scars exist and its true beauty remains as we realize that the pain was just an internal reflection of our own light.
“Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today” ERNEST HEMINGWAY, For Whom the Bell Tolls
So, here is another one of those blogs. Another one of those journals of people who just want to showcase their life or whatever it may be. YES, I am joining the band wagon. Why? I woke up this morning wanting more, wanting something and I wanted to write. I wanted to understand myself in a perspective that I only know and have kept to myself. Writing… So, I am not Carrie Bradshaw though at times I feel as if I am. I am not married, no children, dating and looking for that fairy tale that deep down inside I am starting to lose hope it exists.. I shouldn’t have watched all those Disney movies growing up. I wake up knowing what I want, and not understanding why I haven’t gotten it. Living this perpetuating life I have created. So, what is it that I want? True Happiness, a happiness that only I can attain from within. No man, material item (Chanel), no one can make me happy but myself.. The famous words of “you can’t ever love someone till you love yourself”. So, I like myself do I love myself well, I love facets of myself. Loving yourself in a narcissistic, confident, egoist way is the only way you can love yourself or someone else? Okay, I know its not like that but really? Looking for our purpose in life is our purpose? Settling for what we can get knowing there could be something better yet, too scared to explore the possibilities. Scared to be alone and too critical of what we see and feel. Comparing ones self to what society has made beauty, love and life. So, I’m joining the bandwagon and sharing what I feel to the world and hoping that there are many woman in the same shoes I am in. Questioning everything, waiting and wanting and knowing one day I will be completely happy…“To be alive──is Power.” – Emily Dickinson